Separation and Second Chances
by OceanicShadows
Summary: A fight breaks out amongst the two leaders of the Ghost crew. Ezra tries not to take sides, not wanting to lose either one of his friends. Will the crew ever get back together? K for safety. No flames please, haven't wrote fiction in 15 years. Respectful Suggestions and corrections to errors welcome though!
1. Chapter 1: Separation

As much as I would love to. I don't own Star Wars or any affiliates otherwise there would be more action, blood, and injuries.

Thank you to everyone who let me know the formatting was messed up!

Separation and Second Chances

It all started with a small argument between Hera and Kanan. The whole crew was already highly stressed with being overloaded with assignments. To add onto the leaning tower of sanity, their current location worsened their moods due to the constant storms. It was trying the Ghost crew's patience and no one was acting like their normal selves.

Kanan wanted to stop with the military protocols and go back to how things were before the rest of the rebellion showed up; when it was just their small crew and small missions they accepted from an mysterious party. He hated change even though he had been taught and he knew that change was needed for life to continue.

The Jedi had enough orders and military protocol during his younger years, and with the war he had been unlucky to be part of. Having to deal with the Empire only fueled his severe dislike of military organizations. Besides that, he didn't like taking orders from strangers or people he didn't trust.

Hera thought otherwise. She felt that they would be more organized and have more success with raising rebellion awareness and destroy the Empire's power quicker. Her skills as a pilot would thrive under the orders of a larger group. She wanted to help more people and stop being the "little guy". She didn't stop and consider why Kanan was being so stubborn. The pale green Twi'lek was too upset with him.

Ezra, Sabine and Zeb were getting frustrated fast. The Lasat and the Mandalorian had been able to avoid most of the fighting. They would just find an excuse to leave, heading to town to get food, or shop around. Zeb enjoyed gambling but made sure not to make any further mistakes of betting droids and ships.

Ezra however was the middle man of most of the arguments and crossfire because of his unconscious need for both Hera and Kanan to be close to him, and not wanting to loose one or the other because of some stupid argument. He had already lost his parents, he didn't want to lose them either. He had tried as hard as he could to stay out of the arguments, which he found pretty childish and a waste of time. They were both adults and yet he was acting more mature. He couldn't understand why they were fighting like a married couple going through a divorce. Anytime he would try and walk away from a fight starting to happen, he would quickly be dragged back in.

"Ezra, tell that Jedi rogue that I need him to finish doing the chores on his list because he is a crew member and is expected to help keep my ship in perfect order if he wants to use it for his missions." The pilot barked angrily as she poured herself a cup of coffee. Kanan had been skipping out on his chores and there were a lot of things piling up on his 'to-do' list; usually he would pawn them off on his student, but Ezra was fairly overwhelmed.

"Hera, he's in the room. Why don't you-" The youth started in, calmly putting his hands up in a peaceful calm trying to diffuse the situation.

"Ezra, tell Hera that I will do my chores when I have time and that I have more important things to deal with." Ezra sighed exasperatedly as his master added to his growing frustration of the two. He thought for a moment about giving in to their antics and playing messenger between the two when Hera chimed in.

"Why because my 'to-do' list is too military for you? Does it have too many protocols? It's not my fault that I want my ship functional and clean. That's how a ship should be and that's how we stay safe." She turned and glared at him, daring him to speak back to her and continue the argument. Kanan didn't care and took the "bait".

"Excuse me for having to train my student. He's getting stronger and if he doesn't learn how to focus himself it's going to end in disaster. Do you want him or any of us hurt? He's been keeping up with all the chores. So what if one or two get forgotten for a few days. It's not going to make a huge difference" He wasn't wrong, he had been working Ezra hard since all the fighting had started. Part of it as a vent of his frustration towards the Twi'lek pilot, the other part because he was concerned.

"It's not going to make a huge difference?!" The Twi'lek's eyes flashed with fire. What the older man said had lit a fuse with the pilot and the argument continued in a yelling volume. Neither of them noticed when the boy slipped out of the common room and left the Ghost to head into town to get away from the yelling and fighting.

After a week of fighting, hurtful things were said in anger and the argument rippled and turned into a tidal wave threatening to destroy the crew's bonds forever. Kanan left the Ghost with Ezra because he "wasn't going to take orders from someone if they were barking military orders all the time and because he couldn't take being around someone that didn't care about the importance of Jedi training".

In all actuality, Kanan didn't mind taking orders from Hera, or "Fulcrum"/Ahsoka, he liked both of them. It was everyone else he had trust issues with. It had taken him several years to come close to another warm body, now he was being flooded, being forced to trust people he had never met before. He was upset that Hera didn't understand him when they had been fighting side by side for so long.

The two remaining crew members of the Ghost had to make choices on who they would follow orders from. Chopper didn't get a choice since Hera owned him. Not that he minded. He was getting angry with all the fighting and tended to lash out and shock anyone he passed.

If Zeb or Sabine tried to help out one or the other they would only succeed in receiving an earful from the other. In the end, the two remaining pretty much stayed with Hera, remaining on speaking terms with Kanan when he allowed it; not because they were more loyal to Hera, but because they had no other place to stay. Kanan was staying in a hotel with Ezra and the room was already tiny enough with the two male humans sharing it.

Ezra had stayed with Kanan because the Jedi was his master and he wasn't really given any other choice. He was determined to try and get them back together while helping out both of them the best he could.


	2. Chapter 2: Betrayal

Chapter 2: Betrayal

One afternoon a few weeks later, when Ezra had time off for the first time in a long while, he tried to help Hera with something in town. Kanan was spending his day meditating; the Jedi doing this much more frequently to try and keep himself calm and balanced. Hera was normally his voice of reason, without her, his thoughts were total chaos which caused more frustration to the man who already had issues with patience. Kanan would only really see and give Ezra attention during meals, training and assignments. He thought he was doing this to protect Ezra from himself, but Kanan failed to realize that Ezra missed getting to just hang out with his master when it didn't involve work.

Kanan only found out about his "secret" errand because Ezra lost track of time and was a few moments late to training practice. Ezra didn't see an issue since he wasn't on Kanan's time and he wasn't that late, but of course, he was wrong. The green-eyed man was extremely short with him after that and seemed to hold a never ending grudge of untrusting behavior after this incident.

"You are my student Ezra, we have training and I have other things more important for you to learn besides following a military 'protocol'." Kanan snapped, his face held a deep scowl, his eyes piercing. He had not been sleeping well and between lack of sleep, constantly cold, drenched and everything else, he was extremely ill-tempered. Besides that, he felt a little betrayed and believed that Ezra was taking Hera's side of the whole argument and would soon leave him to stay with her.

"I don't want you around Hera or the Ghost. If you continue to disobey me, I will ban you from leaving the ship unless I accompany you. You never know what kind of dangers there are on this planet. It's not Lothal. What if you had run into Imperials?"

Deep down, he didn't want to go back to being alone, but pride kept him from admitting this and trying to work out his problems with Hera. He wasn't being honest to himself or anyone else with how he truly felt. To him, not admitting his problem was a form of protection. It was a sign of weakness to be scared of something. Instead of facing his problems, he just kept Ezra under careful watch and lost trust in him. He knew deep down that Ezra could take care of himself.

"When I have free time, I don't see why I can't help Hera-" Ezra was quickly cut off by his master, his mouth remaining open for a brief moment before he shut it and continued to listen to his master lecture him.

"No. I will not allow you to be part of that...that mess. End of discussion. You take your orders from me and no one else. Not Hera, not Ahsoka, NO ONE else. If you don't want to listen to me, you can go with Hera and find someone else to be your master. Do I make myself clear?"

The older man left no room for argument and stood glaring, almost daring Ezra to say something. Ezra was hurt by the ultimatum of having to choose between helping a friend out and his training as a Jedi, but he didn't let it show. He glared at Kanan for a few seconds before he stopped at the sound of distant thunder and looked away giving up the fight not wanting it to be worse.

"Yes Master..." Ezra lowered his head slightly, his eyes finding the ground pretty interesting. He had to bite his tongue to keep from talking back to Kanan and telling him how childish he thought Hera and him were being. He wanted to just throw his sheathed light-saber at him and walked away. How much trouble would that cause him? Where was Chopper when you wanted to shock someone into understanding anyway?

If he was still on Lothal he would have walked and taken refuge in his tower, but they were no where near his home planet. He wouldn't be able to survive on the streets of this one with the horrific weather patterns, and he doubted anyone there would take him in. As is, they were usually having to train in the light afternoon showers which dampened both of their moods. He had stopped complaining long ago though.

The planet they were hiding on was very similar to how Earth once was with the exception of the weather in their exact region. At night the temperatures dropped low, sometimes to below freezing, and there were frequent rain or snow storms. It flooded constantly in the near-by areas. During the day time, the sun was out and it was usually a constant 75 degrees except in the late afternoon. Several miles away from the city there was a thick, lush forest. The vegetation there helped to feed, shelter and fund the small city. It was a wonder the Empire hadn't swooped in and taken full control of the area. Surprisingly they were few and far between here, no constant patrols of storm-troopers, or examples being made. The city itself was built on a hill to keep it safe from flooding. The people living there could care less about anyone else, but were friendly when spoken to, that possibly being the reason why the Empire didn't bother them much.

Ezra was lost in thought. They were all still a crew right? Why couldn't they compromise or something. Lessen the amount of time they spent with the rebel alliance but continue taking missions. Ezra couldn't rack his brain on this one and figure out why they couldn't come to a reasonable solution. He shivered slightly as the temperature had started to drop and he was drenched. He was so focused on his thoughts he almost didn't hear Kanan start back up the lesson.

"Good, now do it again. We need your form perfect for the next time we run into the Empire". Kanan's voice had calmed, but his body language was still tense. Ezra sensed it through the force as well. He didn't know if it was because of the weather starting up, or from him discovering his padawan was disappearing to help the pilot of his former home. He silently sighed and got into position to continue training. He knew they would only practice an hour at the most before they would have to stop for the evening.

Even with the threat he had been given, he kept in contact with Hera through the comm over the next month. She was almost just as short, but was much kinder about it as per usual. She would always ask how Ezra was doing and make sure he was eating enough and staying warm enough. Ezra missed the balance of having both his make-shift "parents" around.


	3. Chapter 3: Adjustments

"I'm trying a feeble attempted at a suggestion to add more description. :) Not too good with it but hey, thought I'd try!

Chapter 3: Adjustments 

Soon Kanan was renting a ship with credits he had been saving over the years. It wasn't anything like the Ghost, but it was better than the two males sharing a single hotel room. It was old, junky and everything about it was minuscule compared to the ship Ezra had called his home for the last several months. Its engine worked perfectly though and that's all Kanan needed to earn the credits to continue affording the hunk-of-junk. Ezra slept across the ship from Kanan on the level below. His room was near the exit ramp, while Kanan's was near the cockpit. They each got their own fresher. Ezra didn't mind not having to share a tiny bathroom, but sleeping in a room by yourself got pretty lonely, especially when he had nightmares in the little sleep he actually got. Kanan hid what he really thought of the situation from Ezra. He was beginning to miss Hera and the others; but, once again, his pride, no, fear of change, got the better of him.

He knew Ezra wasn't eating enough or sleeping enough. He felt the disturbances from the nightmares the youth would have. He had attempted to address it with his young apprentice but he lacked Hera's guidance and being a father figure didn't come naturally. He compensated by offering him more food and depriving himself of a warm meal but Ezra would always decline, grinning it off with a comparison to being alone on Lothal again. Kanan was glad the kid was being so optimistic about the situation. He almost sent him to be with Hera for the few nights if she would allow just so he got a good meal in him, but he was scared that Ezra wouldn't return.

The former freighter tried to find assignments that paid well. It was hard without connections and usually Kanan ended up having to pick to the first assignment that would pay enough to feed them for the next day and pay the rent and fuel on the ship. It was exhausted and much harder work than normal; however, at least they didn't usually involve running for their lives from the Empire, unlike what Ezra was doing behind his master's back almost every night.

At night when Ezra had his nightmares, Kanan would usually become conscious to the bond they shared pulling him out of the sleep or meditative state he was currently in. From there he would send calming signals to ease the younger one's dreams allowing him to be restful. It seemed to be getting harder to perform the task and it slightly concerned him. Was Ezra blocking him out, or was there something malicious? Luckily, for the both of them, Ezra was quickly learning how to block Kanan out of his mind so he wouldn't discover what he was doing in secret.

Kanan was also not the master pilot Hera was and any assignments Kanan found that involved flying were rocky and not fun. He could fly well, but not under stress. At least when they got into an altercation, it was easier to hide from the imperials because of the condition the ship was in, which was good because the turrets of the ship were not functional.

"Minor Fix" The Jedi optimistically told his padawan when he first showed him the ship.

Ezra looked at the ship daily wondering how much the green Twi'lek, Zeb, or Sabine would laugh if they saw what the oldest male human had resorted to living in. He knew Chopper would let loose. He knew that even with a good laugh, Hera would become concerned with both of their health states. He just didn't know how to relay that to Kanan to get him to try and speak with her again.

A month slowly passed and the fighting didn't stop. Hera had attempted to make contact with Kanan to get him to come back and help with a mission. As soon as he found out who called the shots of the assignment, he quickly declined and made a smart remark which set everything ablaze again. Now Ezra was beginning to understand how some of the kids he grew up with felt when they talked about their parents getting divorced or separated.

What the Jedi didn't know is that his padawan had already accepted several upcoming assignments from Hera. He would just have to keep them a secret. He planned to tell Kanan he had found ground jobs to make extra credits. He didn't want to disappoint either of the adults that he had come to view as his guardians. One late afternoon, he met up with and spoke with the two other humanoids he once shared a ship with, conveniently leaving Chopper out of the conversation since the droid didn't know how to keep secrets with Hera. The droid would probably say something just to start a fight.

"I can't sit back and not help both of them. Arg! Why do they have to act so childish?" The young Jedi in training groaned out as he dramatically slouched back in the seat he was in.

They had decided to meet up at a food joint in town halfway between the two ships. He was slightly damp because of the common afternoon showers and he was chilled, but he was glad to be in the company of his two friends.

"I agree. I've never seen them fight this much. They haven't spoken to each other in over a week. You and Zeb seem like perfect angels compared to them right now." The Mandalorian girl joked casually, even though she was just as frustrated.

She was concentrating in her sketch book but paying attention to the conversation in full.

" So what are we goin' to do about it?" The older male of their party grumbled as he took another drink. He was the only one eating food between the three. His face was tired and serious.

"I don't see this fight breakin' up any time soon" Zeb took a large bite of food, missing the hungry look on the student's face.

The raven haired crew was hungry, but didn't have any credits on him at the time, Kanan had left to go collect on one of their assignments so he would just have to wait until after practice to eat. Ezra had a protein bar given to him this morning, but as he was walking towards their meet-up he ran into an orphaned street child and feeling a pang of empathy he handed the bar to the kid who promptly smiled and wolfed the bar down before taking off.

"I don't either but I'm going to continue helping both of them. As long as Kanan doesn't find out I should be fine. I don't want to give up on one or the other. Sooner or later they have to stop this right?" The young human questioned with a bleak sense of hope wavering in his voice.

The circles under his eyes were dark, and he had lost some weight because of always being short on credits these days. Kanan refused to allow him to steal or go back to his past ways of conning innocent people. He was still a student of the Jedi after all. Today he sported a recent, deep bruise on his hand and arm from it getting slammed between two shipping crates from earlier. Ezra wore a semi-permanent frown from trying to concentrate on a solution while in the presence of the other two.

"Don't think too hard kid. You're head might implode." The Lesat chuckled trying to lighten the mood, ruffling the youth's hair roughly like he always did.

"Hey!" He batted the furry arm away from his head going on defense.

"You need to take care of yourself Kid. It's starting to show. You looked better when you ran into us on Lothal." Sabine stated remembering that day.

She had yet to pick her head up. She didn't want to look at the wear down the kid had on his facial expression and body. Just hearing the exhaustion in his voice made her want to cringe.

"I should have enough credits after the next assignments with Hera to stock up on good food for a few weeks. " Ezra plastered a reassuring smile before quietly adding.

" And a decent medical kit..." The other two looked at him incredulously. He ignored the looks on their faces and changed the subject keeping the smile plastered on his face this time.

They spent a few hours catching each other up; going over Intel they had gathered, assignments they had had, and hilarious things that happened to each other to keep the mood light. Apparently when Chopper had been running from Zeb he turned and accidentally shocked Hera before tripping her. They all got a good laugh from that story.

They also tried to come up with a solution before leaving in their separate directions with failure on their minds. They had tried to give Ezra credits for food, or at least buy it for him before they split ways. But he continued to turn them down.

"I'm fine guys. If Kanan found out, I would be doing all the ship chores and repairs for weeks!. He would know I "took" money from you or Hera, or he would assumed I stole it. As is, if I'm not back for training in 15 minutes, he's going to kill me in practice." He could just imagine the long list Kanan would give him to do to the rusty hunk of space trash.

He would never be able to leave the ship again again. He pulled his collar closer to his head and tucked his hands under his arms. The temperature had dropped low enough that he could see his breath and unfortunately, Ezra failed to plan ahead and forgot his hooded cloak Kanan had given him to keep warm and dry. It was still drying on a towel rack in his bathroom from yesterday's practice.

"Take care of yourself Kid. If you need anything get a hold of us. We'll do what we can." The Mando's face had worry written all over it now that it wasn't buried in her art. Ezra was like a younger brother to her and she didn't like to see him, or anyone she loved suffering.

"Who knows, maybe if you get hurt and Mom and Dad will get back together." Zeb joked giving one of his sadistic grins and was fixing to say something else when a sharp elbow went into his rib cage.

"Hey! What did you-" Sabine motioned to the padawan. He was looking down. It only lasted a few moments before he looked back up grinning. The Lesat immediately regretted saying something like that.

"Everything will work itself out somehow." 'I hope' He added silently to himself. He left them both and rushed to the ship as the rain started to pour before he was late for training.


	4. Chapter 4: Exhaustion

Chapter 4: Exhaustion

It took a few harmless tries to get everything down pat, but he managed to convince both of the adult children into believing that he was off in town trying to gather information when he was actually helping the other out. Sometimes he was able to tie two solo missions together by alerting the other adult about some possible Intel he could gather. Sabine and Zeb did this as well, but they weren't constantly tied down or running around like their young friend. Ezra wasn't so good at finding a balance or being able to back down from a task given to him. His silent fear of rejection and being alone again kept him constantly on the go to continue to please the two adults he looked up to most.

The Jedi didn't even notice when his signature through the force started to change due to his student blocking him most of the time. He just assumed Ezra was just frustrated about their current situation. It was causing a hazy fog between their bond and in his mind. His own frustration with Hera caused him to unconsciously be much harsher with Ezra during training. At this point, he had no real clue as to the main cause of the fight. He just felt that he shouldn't back down.

"Again." The Jedi stated for the hundreth time that day. Kanan's patience was particularly short today as he had a run in with Hera at the market earlier; while the Twi'lek was trying to remain peaceful, it turned into another fight about the rebellion alliance. Hera was actually growing very concerned for Ezra and Kanan. She had seen his health start to decay, last assignment she could have sworn that she saw multiple injuries but he waved the subject into non-existence. She wanted to make amends at this point, the anger from her mind, but Kanan seemed to want to continue fighting.

This particular afternoon, Kanan had blindfolded Ezra and was having him practice his light-saber forms. What the man didn't know is that Ezra had not slept in three days, and was out on assignment last night with the other four crew members and had been hurt.

"I can't do it Kanan. Let's just stop. Can't we meditate today?" The teenager half whined, half growled in full frustration. His hands were extremely tight against his light saber, but he could feel full exhaustion in all his muscles. He just wanted to take a nap, a shower, or just sit down and do nothing, even if that meant meditation. He was sore from last night, but of course Kanan could never know that.

The green-eyed man completely missed the statement about meditation. If he had heard his young student offer that suggestion, red flags would have flash in front of all his current thoughts and he would have known something was wrong. Somehow he completely missed it.

"It's not that hard Ezra. You just aren't focusing enough. You need more focus, more discipline. I took you away from all the military protocol so you could work on just your Jedi skills, but it hasn't seemed to help you at all" His harsh words stung Ezra. The constant negativity was slowly destroying Ezra's confidence in himself as a Jedi, let alone a human being. It seemed Kanan would be kind one moment and then become ruthless towards him the next. "I believe the term Sabine used for this behavior is...PMSing?" He thought silently to himself. As quickly as the thought popped in his brain, it left with the steady gaze of his master.

"Fine." He got into stance again. He was beginning to think Hera was the person in Kanan's life that kept him calm and focused on others. Without her, he was a crabby dictator that didn't know when to stop. He wanted to know what had made Kanan become so...grouchy. Ezra sighed with his eyes fully focused on the black darkness of his blindfold, what he didn't see was the slight remorse of his master when he realized how harsh he had been. He didn't know what had gotten into him. He blamed the rain. Kanan lightened up with his young friend and tried to put a little fun into the lesson by tossing some fruits he had purchased at the market earlier. His plan was to freeze them to make smoothies for breakfast in the morning.

An hour later Ezra was heading to his cabin to freshen up and get away from Kanan for the night. Zeb and Sabine were the only ones that had noticed Ezra getting thinner and looking paler; he had managed to hide it from Kanan, who seemed fairly blind, with his already fairly baggy clothing, and from the motherly Twi-lek that was beginning to become suspicious of his health. He was overworking himself, but the two neutral party members didn't know how to stop him without potentially causing an uproar.

He opened the door and walked into the small, dark cabin. Ezra was actually beginning to miss sharing a room with Zeb. As much as they fought, it was how they bonded. Now alone, Ezra was in silence and he hated that. He had spent 8 years alone and he had grown accustomed to being around everyone. The only positive was he had a fresher all to himself and when they were docked in a bay he could take long, hot showers to relax his sore muscles. While Kanan was on the ship, he was always doing something important and didn't address Ezra unless it was training or assignment related.

Ezra undressed and turned on the water stepping into the hot shower. The young man hissed, his mind radiating pain, as the water hit a wound caused from last night's venture into the forest to collect some shipping crates left by the imperials. He had tripped in the darkness and fell against a very sharp rock. The wound went from under his left ripcage in the front to mid-way around the back; a dark purple bruise was forming over the rib from there being a small fracture that was never addressed. The open wound itself had needed stitches, but he couldn't ask Hera, she would become motherly and make him stay on the Ghost overnight to watch him; or worse, telling his master. Telling Kanan wasn't an option he was prepared to choose. He could only imagine what kind of punishment, or worse, disappointed lecture he would inflict on the padawan. He had a medical kit now, maybe he should attempt to stitch it himself.

He kept silent in his thoughts wondering how he would go about stitching himself as he let the water continue to run over all the wounds and clean his body before all the color drained when he heard a knock on the door causing him to freeze and stop breathing for a moment.

"Hey Kid. I felt your signature radiate pain. Are you okay?" The older man asked in a concerned tone of voice. He was silently beating himself up for not catching it. If Ezra had gotten injured he needed to be checked out; they didn't have a proper medical kit and an infection would be dangerous. A few days ago they had a very rough assignment and he didn't think to look over the kid afterwards. Why couldn't he just be a good "parent" like Hera? It was his daily question that had been left unanswered among a lot of other ones.

"Yeah, I'm fine Master. I moved the wrong way, my muscles are pretty stiff from practice today." He hated lying to Kanan, but he knew the consequences of truth in this scenario.

Kanan knew there was something more because of Ezra calling him "master", maybe the kid did something stupid and didn't want to be embarrassed. He only called him master when he was mad, or trying to hide something. He decided to let it go. If it was serious enough he knew Ezra would tell him eventually. Little did he know how wrong he was.

"Okay, well I'm heading to town for some grub with the credits that we earned. We have enough for a big hot meal. Do you want to come, you have certainly earned it with how hard you've been working." The Jedi went cautiously out on a limb trying to be a little more sensitive and paternal. After all, he didn't want to discourage the kid by not praising him enough. He found the kindness foreign and didn't understand why it was so hard to be kind to the kid these days. Ezra had done nothing wrong to deserve negativity.

Ezra's stomach growled and lurched at the same time. Last time he ate was two days ago. He hadn't had any time to eat between assignments and training. Eating out also meant that he might be late for his mission with Hera if Kanan wasn't in his room meditating at his usual time.

"Nah, I'm not too hungry. Had a large lunch with all the left overs. I knew you were getting paid, and the food was starting to look questionable. I may grab a protein bar before going to bed. I'm beat" He made sure to add a small laugh through a forced grin. Another lie. In actuality, he had tossed the food after seeing a strange fungus growing on it.

"Oh...Alright, I'll be back in a bit" Kanan looked down slightly almost hurt at the decline of his heartfelt invitation.

"Since when does the kid turn down food? Maybe he really misses the crew that much. Or is he starting to hate me? I've have been really harsh and for no real reason. He has to be the one blocking me, I haven't sensed another force user. He's also wanting any free time alone. I suspect he's out trying to earn more credits but I'll talk to him when I get back and bring him some food. He can eat it tomorrow if he really isn't hungry." Kanan stayed staring at the crack between the door and the floor, that was allowing light to seep out listening to the sound of the shower for a few seconds before shaking off his negative thoughts and left to get some food.

Ezra let out a huge sigh when he sensed he had finally left and continued his shower. 'At least with Kanan gone I can try and get a few hours of sleep. I wonder when those two will stop fighting and just make a truce. I miss us being a family.'

Kanan got his food, but he didn't really feel like eating by himself tonight. He longed for meals in the common room of the Ghost with the constant bickering of "The kids". He got the food and started to head back to his ship having to move slower because of the strong wing gusts blowing into him.

He had felt the sadness that Ezra let off during practice from the harsh words he had let slip and had started to think to himself about why he and Hera were fighting to begin with. He knew it had something to do with being part of a bigger rebellion, but wasn't that what they wanted? A bigger rebellion to thwart the Empire? He couldn't shake the fog that always seemed to be in his thoughts these days.

"Maybe I'm going to the dark side" He joked to himself before shaking that idea out of his head with disgust.

He made a mental note to give the kid some slack, figuring he was being too hard on him because of his own problems. He always had a hard time with his patience being thin, now it was worse without a voice of reason and all this forsaken rain. Maybe he should try and work something out with Hera. Ezra was very fond of her and looked up to her and the others.

He got back on-board and shut the ramp and locked everything down for the night. They were safe at the current location, not too many imperials wandered around despite there being a base several miles away. Everything was habit though. He wanted Ezra to feel safe. He thought his student was having nightmares, but he didn't know how to address them properly. Hera always helped him figure out what to say when he was at a lost. He figured that by making everything locked down, Ezra would be at ease and sleep better.

He walked down the hall and stopped outside Ezra's cabin. His walk in the rain had cleared some of his thinking and he decided to give it a try. He couldn't find reasoning behind all the fighting anymore. If there was sense to it, it was long gone at this point. It was settled then, he and the kid would go talk to Hera and get everything worked out somehow.

He hesitated before opening the door to check on the boy and tell him the news. He peered into the darkness. The teen was curled up on his bed facing the wall bundled up under the covers. Kanan watched him a moment to make sure he was sleeping peacefully before going to eat. "Tomorrow then..." He whispered to no one but himself. Afterwards he mediated on everything that was going through his head trying to decide what to say to Ezra and Hera besides the long needed "sorry", and went to bed. He was almost as exhausted as his student.

A few hours later, Ezra snuck from his room and peered around the corners of the ship. He knew at this hour Kanan was asleep. He was making sure to concentrate enough to keep his signature blocked from his master. He felt really warm, but freezing at the same time. His side was on fire and he could feel the heat radiating through his clothing.

As he slipped off the ship unnoticed, he let out a small coughing fit he had been holding in just as the ramp closed. He was surprised that Kanan hadn't taken any notice to his coughing or weakness. 'Maybe he just doesn't care enough about me. Maybe our bond is weakening...He's probably too busy with other things to be that concerned with me.' He had purposely been trying to hide being sick to both parties, but he failed to realize exactly how well he had been hiding it.

Ezra was, by this point, late and ran to meet up with everyone. He was exhausted and felt like he was going to collapse at any given moment; his throat was on fire and his injuries matched the fire in his throat, but he couldn't let down Hera or the others.


	5. Chapter 5: Secret Rendezvous

****Hey guys! Thanks for all the awesome reviews! and sorry about all the typos in the previous chapter, when I have time I'll go back and get them fixed! I'm sorry! The next several chapters may go a little slower. I'm not used to "fight" scenes, or dramatic things when it comes to writing in detail but I want to do my best so I'm gonna slow down a bit and read over my work several times before publishing. Still hoping no more than a few days in between chapters.**

 **Also, I'm thinking of doing a special Christmas fic, but I don't know if Star Wars timeline has a special name for Christmas or if this would just be an on the whim thing can anyone let me know! Thanks! ~Ocean ****

 **Chapter 5: Secret Rendezvous**

The mission was a one hour flight away from the city in an abandoned building that had been harboring secret meetings of the Empire for a few months now. Ezra would be lucky if they got back before dawn if everything went to plan. The storms were already bad; luckily Hera was a master pilot and the weather didn't affect her skills as a pilot in the least. He had decided that he would just tell Kanan he went early to see if there were any good trades or assignments in the market. He was unfocused at the briefing, mainly just zoning and staring at the table in front of him. Hera had given him a plate of food and a hot drink to warm him but it was left untouched. Hera looked at him concerned.

"Are you sure you're up for this Ezra? You haven't touched your food and you look pretty pale" The mother of the group started to walk towards him to check him over. The boy snapped out of his haze and gave one of his smiles leaning away from her.

"Of course I am! I'm just tired because Kanan sends me to bed early to meditate. I always fall asleep so I'm just used to it." He exclaimed over enthusiastically waving her away. Zeb and Sabine looked at him non-believing and Hera stared at him for a moment before nodding and continuing.

" _That's it, after this mission I'm going to talk to Kanan. Does he not see any of this? What has gotten into him to make him so stubborn and blind?"_ The Twi-lek would have not allowed him to do the mission, but she knew the building was completely abandoned and that this was an easy assignment so she was allowing Ezra to go through with it. She remained concerned.

She continued with the briefing, in detail, as they flew towards their destination. As soon as they landed they all confirmed their parts before the mission began and they split up.

Ezra's job was to crawl through the ducts of the building to a meeting room that held a computer the Empire had been using. The vents were coated in a thick layer of dust that only added to the irritation of his lungs as he made his way to his goal. On the computer was information about rebel prisoners at a near-by planet. They needed this information to save their colleagues from certain death.

Sabine planted detonators as per usual. Without having to watch her back around every corner, she took her time making sure to leave a trademark art piece in each hallway. She knew in less than an hour it would be gone forever, but that never stopped her. Zeb was searching the building for living creatures, rebel or imperial and of course Hera and Chopper were on stand-by for pick up and in case they had company. Simple enough considering there was almost no defense on this planet, let alone this building.

Everything was going fine half way through, though Ezra silently vented his anger at having to climb through the vents when the building was supposed to be abandoned. Ezra had finally found the room he was supposed to retrieve the information from and was getting ready to descend out of the vent when his body was wracked with a coughing fit caused by the dust irritation and physical exertion he was putting out; he managed to keep, for the most part, silent. He paused after the fit subsided to catch his breath resting his head against the cool vent shaft, managing to smear dust all over his forehead. He knew he had to do this. If he didn't several people would die and it would be his fault. He would only imagine what Kanan would do if he found out. Not about lying and sneaking out, but about causing the death of several good men and women. He remembered there was a time not too long ago he would not have cared. The _Ghost_ crew, his new family had changed that.

" _Why are they still fighting? We all need each other. We've been together for months. Is this stupid fight really going to break up our crew?"_ He slammed his hand down on the vent in frustration causing a storm of dust to enter his lungs sending him into another violent fit of coughing. He shut his eyes and just laid his head down for a second to rest and gather his thoughts.

~ _Spectre 6. I repeat, do you have the info?~_ Ezra snapped back to reality. How long had he been zoned?

' _Karabast'_ He grabbed his com. ~ _Just fixing to drop down. The vents up here are a maze Spectre 2.~_ He wasn't lying either. There were so many twists and turns, he would be lucky to remember how to get out.

He checked visually and mentally to make sure the room was empty before dropping down rather clumsily wincing as he jarred his already sensitive wound. He attempted to brush some of the dust from his clothing, he only succeed in smearing it all over covering up the orange.

Getting the data was a piece of cake. Climbing back up into the vent, not so much. His mind was so cloudy, he couldn't use the full benefit of the force to jump up easily like he normally did. He finally managed to get up, hissing in pain as he felt his wound reopen as it slid against a screw in the vent. He started to move through the vents, feeling something tug slightly but he was too out of it to pay much attention. He stopped and managed to quell another episode of coughing before grabbing his comm.

~ _I have the information disk. Be out in five and will meet you at rendezvous. ~_ He put the comm link back on his belt and realized then that he didn't have his light-saber. He cursed heavily before turning around to look for it. It took him a minute, but he found it about the same area he felt the gentle tug and re-clipped it making sure it was secure this time before quickly heading out. That lost minute put him in a critical predicament that would later aid into the reunion of Hera, Kanan and the _Ghost_ crew.

Ezra was going much slower than he thought. He could finally see the exit far down on the other side of the current shaft he was in. Unfortunately, Sabine set the detonators to go off in five minutes, the young Jedi's five minutes were up. The explosions starting at the other side of the building. Ezra could feel them with each shake; the dust stirring up more entering his lungs in double time. He tried to crawl faster, but the building was already starting to become unstable. The vent he was in started to creak and shift. It was only a matter of time before it begin to collapse with the rest of the building. Ezra managed to grab the exit shaft just in time and managed to pull himself out, getting as far as he could, as the final explosion hit knocking him to the ground. He lay on the concrete outside for several minutes; he could smell the singed hair from all the dust collection. His lungs burned, his chest ached. He wanted nothing but to shut his eyes and not move ever again. He finally willed himself up with great resistance and headed towards the rendezvous point where Sabine was anxiously waiting for him.

"What took so long?" Sabine said as she took her helmet off. The Mandalorian teen took one sight of him and cringed. Ezra was covered in scorch marks, dust and she could see blood starting to show through his orange jumpsuit. "We were starting to get worried and it looks like we were right. Are you okay?"

" I had to turn around. Don't worry, I'm fine. Got out before falling to my death. I got some scratches that I'll take care of as soon as I get back to Kanan's ship." Ezra laughed it off fighting the urge to cough again as his friend looked him over. That was the biggest lie all day.

"You should let Hera take care of your injuries." She didn't like seeing any of her friends hurt. Ezra was annoying at times but he was like a younger brother to her. If he wasn't around, the ship wouldn't be the same.

" I don't have time Sabine. It's almost dawn and if Kanan catches me out of the ship I'm going to be in worse shape than a few scratches and burns." Ezra couldn't take that risk. He knew the Jedi would do no harm to him physically, but just seeing a look of disappointment on Kanan's face was like getting hit with 10 blaster shots. He handed Sabine the disk for safe keeping and they quickly boarded to the ship.

"All the information needed has been obtained Hera, we can fly home." Sabine took the disk and mused over it while updating Hera through the comm link as the pilot headed out. Zeb had gone to his cabin to get cleaned up after having a hilarious run in with cobwebs and spiders. Ezra chuckled a bit at the thought of the tall honor guard doing a panic dance trying to kill off some spiders. He wished he had been there. He was drawn out of his day dream by Sabine's worried voice.

"I still can't get Hera to talk about Kanan or their fight. She's not angry, but I don't think she knows what to do. What if we can't get them back together Ezra?" She had gotten used to having a family and she missed the close bond of everyone. They changed her for the better. She didn't want to go back to how she used to live. Alone and un-trusting. She looked over to Ezra who had taken a seat on a bench near the ramp. He had to be ready to run as soon as they got back.

"Don't worry Sabine. I'm sure they'll work it out sooner or later. I'm going to try and talk to Kanan about it today. There's something different about him that I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe he'll open up and tell me." The two continued to converse the rest of the trip. They landed and Ezra opened the ramp.

"Are you sure you don't want Hera to look over the wounds?" Sabine asked with a small frown, knowing that Ezra was worse than he told her.

"I have to get back before Kanan wakes." Ezra didn't wait for a response as he took off out of the ship. He headed back to the ship as quick as he could, he couldn't even tell if the sun had come out. The storm on the menu tonight was more like a monsoon but in the dead of winter. Ezra knew that there was flooding going on in parts of the city. He stopped by a dumpster on his way back where he had stored some clean clothes. He changed quickly, shivering as the freezing cold ice drops hit his burning hot skin. The storms on this planet were harsh and long and he was just about done with this weather.

The padawan finally reached his destination and opened the ramp with a soft hiss. "Whew. Made it."

" Think again." Said a very angry Jedi waiting for him at the entrance. His arms were crossed and a flurry of emotions covered his face.

 ******** 30 minutes earlier *********

Kanan woke, he knew he felt a huge disturbance, something had clouded his mind from seeing it sooner. He got up to check on Ezra. He was really growing concerned about his student's avoidance.

" _It's late enough, I can wake him for breakfast and we can go talk to Hera together._ " He hesitated, his fist ready to knock on the door before entering. The Jedi shut his eyes feeling a weak signature of his padawan surrounded by a veil of darkness. Except Ezra's signature wasn't in the cabin. Kanan opened the door to see the empty bunk. He searched mentally for his student sensing that Ezra was on his way back from somewhere. Kanan stood at the ramp and waited, the anger and betrayal he felt building all the while in the absence of Ezra.


	6. Chapter 6: Flight

**Chapter 6: Flight**

For two hours Kanan yelled at his student, lecturing him and driving him deeper and deeper into depression. The Jedi had failed to realize that he had no control over what he was saying and everything just spilled out of him like he was a puppet. All Kanan felt was anger, betrayal and concern.

"How could you do something so stupid!? What if an inquisitor showed up!? You're not strong enough to battle one alone!" The Jedi yelled out his voice laced with the of mixed emotions coursing through his body.

Two hours Ezra took the yelling and didn't show how upset or hurt he was. Ezra tried to reason, he tried to apologize but Kanan was not thinking rationally at this point. Kanan had been so scared at first when he found Ezra missing. The adult's first thought was not on him doing an assignment with Hera and lying, it was on whether or not he had been injured and how bad.

"Hera needed my help. I'm the only one small enough for the vents, you know that." Ezra pleaded calmly trying to get Kanan to let up. He wanted to run and hide but he stayed not wanting to leave his master. Something seemed off and Ezra sensed it, but everything was so dull he couldn't determine what it was. The padawan was wearing down fast.

"If you want to help her so much then just leave. I never wanted you as a student and obviously you'd rather be with her instead of learning the force with me." Kanan motioned to the ramp and the pouring sleet, his eyes flashing dangerously. As soon as the motion was finished he felt something break and everything go blank as he stared at his student who mentally seemed to shatter in front of him. Immediately Kanan felt regret and guilt hit him in waves unable to understand why he had said such a thing as it wasn't true in the slightest. He loved Ezra like a son and would never want him to leave. He retracted his hand like it had touched fire and lowered his head. He started to say something but his student began first.

"Fine! It's not like I asked for any of this!" His young padawan finally had enough hurt and snapped. Ezra turned and took off into the icy darkness.

"Hey kid, wait!" He stopped short of taking off after him, his brow furrowed before his eyes widened staring at the very spot his student had just been standing for almost two hours. Where Ezra had been was smeared blood. He looked back up to try and find Ezra only to see a sheet of rain and darkness.

* * *

 *****************? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?*********************

"Master, the bond has been broken. I have no control over the Jedi anymore." A malicious voice said in the darkness. Laced with the malice was a slight hint of fear due to the failure he had shown.

"It lasted longer than I thought it would. It was only designed to work temporarily but the Jedi's self-doubt in being able to train his student made the connection last longer. The mission was to get in the Jedi's head and put thoughts of darkness into his student's mind. You may have failed to maintain control of the Jedi, but you have succeeded in putting anger, fear and sadness into the young padawan as well as destroy the crew's relationship with Kanan. Now that Ezra Bridger has little hope and light, he is weak and can be brought to the side he was destined for. We must have patience when bringing him back. He must feel welcomed and not forced if we want this plan to work. Let the wounds fester for a few days and we shall go collect his broken form." The "master" spoke back calmly with only mild agitation. His subordinate had done their job and now they could begin the hunt for the teen padawan.

* * *

Kanan tried for nearly an hour to find Ezra using the force, asking anyone on the street, and using all the resources he currently had. The weather had chosen to not let up and the older man was soaked, freezing but all of that was numb and not on his mind. Each passing minute his concern worsened for his student; he couldn't sense Ezra and there was no trace of the youth. He wanted to call out his name, but he was worried about Imperials lurking around so he kept his mouth shut.

' _I'm such an idiot. I should have known the kid was injured. I let my anger control me. How did I become so angry? Some teacher I am. I can't even follow my own lessons. How was my mind so clouded of everything? I feel like myself for the first time in months.'_ Kanan was really beating himself up. He didn't realize where he went until he was standing in front of the _Ghost_. He sighed heavily looking down.

' _This whole time Ezra was right. Why were we even fighting? Hera wanted to stop and find a solution but I wouldn't allow it. What have I done to her and Ezra?"_ He looked up at the ship.

" _Even the force wants me to make amends with everyone. What have I done?'_ He hesitated before putting in the code opening the ramp and walking in.

The ship was dark and silent, he couldn't hear the noisy droid and assumed that he was charging in Hera's room. Everyone must be asleep after their late night venture. He looked around and mentally flinched as he saw dried blood in a seat near the ramp that Ezra frequented when they were flying. "He's lost a lot of blood..." He murmured making his way to the staircase.

He climbed the ladder up to the next level and walked down the familiar pathway to the cockpit. His hands ran along the wall, his clothes leaving a trail of water behind him. He truly missed this ship and the inhabitants. He knew the pilot of the ship was awake. She always was after a mission. Just like him, Hera found it hard to sleep right after going through an adrenaline burst.

"Hera?" He peeked into the cockpit.

The Twi'lek turned in her chair. She noticed how broken their leader looked. Her natural instincts of wanting to comfort and soothe took over; it was then she noticed that his shadow wasn't standing next to him.

Kanan didn't wait for a response from the pilot.

"The kid...he... We have to find him."


	7. Chapter 7: Search & Rescue

*****I did a little editing on this chapter because I saw some things missing and more errors than I cared to publish.**

 **Chapter 7: Search & Rescue**

"What happened?" Hera shot up, her eyes widening as she realized why his student wasn't with him.

"I..I said things..he took off." The Jedi looked down, shutting his eyes for a brief second before he felt the Twi-lek move past him. He turned and followed her into the common room.

The pilot and Jedi sprang to action and immediately started to form a plan of action to get their youngest member home. It was as if nothing had ever happened; If the last several weeks were just part of a fading nightmare. Hera opened up a map of the city and surrounding areas, her counterpart pointing out where he had already searched.

Sabine came in to the common area sleepily seeing Kanan. She stopped, and looked at both of them before seeing the desperation in their eyes staring at the large holo-map. She felt a pang of guilt for not saying anything about Ezra. She joined in after starting a pot of coffee. Zeb quickly followed suit after waking.

"Zeb, you and Sabine are going to focus on the northern part of the city. It's the only area I haven't checked inside the city walls. Be mindful, that is where the Imperials are staying. Keep an open ear about any recent captures as well..." Kanan frowned as the image of his padawan being captured in the current condition he was in flashed through his mind. Suddenly Kanan felt a small twinge of pain in his bond with Ezra; He got up, followed by Hera.

"Where are you two going?" Sabine asked as she pulled on her rain gear.

"The forest. It's a straight shot from where the rental ship is." Kanan felt a tension migraine forming and rubbed his temples as Hera got ready. He was already soaked and cold, rain gear was pointless.

"The kid wouldn't be that stupid. It's flooding down there, he would know better." Zeb said in his usual gruff voice. He hated getting wet, but his little buddy was out there, injured somewhere.

"You're right Zeb, he would know better...but Ezra wasn't in a clear state of mind. He wouldn't be thinking, he would just be running." Kanan saw that Hera was ready and headed for the ramp.

"Chopper, stay here and let us know if Ezra shows up. He may come here." The droid beeped approval at his orders not wanting to be in the rain. He waved his arms threateningly at Kanan allowing his taser to light up as if by saying ' _you're going to get it when you come back'_.

Kanan punched the button to open the ramp and the four members peered out. With the rain as heavy as it was, there was no light shining at all except for what little street lighting they saw. The crew members split up to look for their 6th member.

* * *

Ezra ran until he couldn't run any further; the freezing rain slammed down on him making him stumble several times as his injuries and wet clothes weighed him down. His body ached and he wanted to give up and just fall, but he kept going. He had to get away from everything that hurt. He felt lost, just like after his parents were captured and he was left alone. He never wanted to feel like this ever again.

The young teen didn't know where he was going and didn't care. He ignored where the force was telling him to go and went blindly in the opposite direction. The force right now seemed like a curse, why should he listen to it?

The padawan wanted to go to his home on Lothal and pretend nothing ever happened; no _Ghost,_ no Jedi, no nothing. He wanted to be a street rat having to steal and con people for his food. Even siding with the empire seemed promising in his head right now. That idea stayed with him for only a split second before he waved it away angrily, disgusted with himself.

The rain lessened a little but Ezra kept running. He felt objects slapping against him, some of them ripping up his jumpsuit and vest. He realized then they were branches and that he had run into the forest.

The youth saw a huge tree in front of him and he moved to the side to avoid it, unfortunately tripping over something sticking out of the earth. The teen fell forward waiting to slam into the mud, only he kept falling. Ezra tried to focus on what was happening hoping it was a nightmare and that he would just wake up before hitting the bottom. No such luck; he was falling into a deep ravine that was filling fast with water. Everything was going in slow motion. The young Jedi felt himself hit the freezing mud, knocking the wind out of his body. He felt something break, a rib, possibly his wrist. He didn't move for what felt like eternity the very thought causing waves of nausea and pain to course through his body. His mind was hazy and he couldn't open his eyes to look around. He felt numb laying still and didn't want to feel anything else.

" _Why did he keep me on the ship so long if he didn't want me?...Was I just a warm body to help destroy the empire?...He doesn't care...no one does...I'm alone, he wont come for me..."_ A clap of thunder took him from his thoughts. Instincts of wanting to get away from the cold weather kicked in. He would just make he way back to Lothal some how.

He tried to get up but as he put weight on his hand he cried out, a spark of pain flying through the force. He allowed himself to sink down deeper into the mud as the teenager began to shiver uncontrollably, dark spots forming in his vision. He fell into another violent coughing fit lasting a few minutes. Sickness and injury had had taken over his body as Ezra lay in the mud. He felt the feeling of water begin to lap over his feet, then his legs. Any will to try and get up again faded into his unconsciousness.

* * *

Kanan stopped, shutting his eyes feeling the pain of his student. He had felt it earlier, pushing him in the direction of the forest but this pain was far greater it made the Jedi nauseous. Hera was next to him and noticed stopping as well looking back at him.

"What is it Kanan?" The ace pilot was growing very concerned and knew they would have to stop soon or all of them would get sick. Convincing Kanan of this would not be easy. The Jedi took all blame of this and his guilt weighed heavily on him. She stayed with him so he wouldn't do anything stupid.

"Ezra. Something just happened." His eyes popped open and scanned the darkness before stopping on a particular spot. Kanan took off avoiding branches and twigs in his path easily and gracefully; Hera followed, not as lucky with the avoidance maneuvering. By this point, it was starting to grow darker as another storm cell was fixing to bear down on them; the temperature was dropping rapidly. Hera was starting to hate this planet.

The Jedi stopped just shy of 10 feet from where Ezra had fallen. The boy's signature gone, he gave up trying to relocate it and started to call Ezra hoping he was conscious and it was just some glitch in the force that he couldn't feel his padawan. Hera finally reached him, joining in getting the idea that Kanan was brought here because of the force.

Hera almost hit a tree walking around and moved just in time to avoid it, tripping over an uprooted root instead. She nearly fell but caught herself just in time. She grabbed a light from her belt shining it around. She didn't have any other means of seeing into the dark like Kanan did. Kanan was further away trying to find his injured padawan, the worry and concern in his voice evident. She stopped for a moment when her light continued to hit darkness. She edged closer seeing that she had almost fell off a cliff.

She shined the light down to see how deep it was. The ravine was deep, at least 50 feet down. She almost couldn't see the bottom, she grew dizzy for a moment just looking down. She sighed in relief at her luck and as the pilot was fixing to turn to find Kanan, her light hit a spot right on the edge of the ravine. At first she assumed nothing until she saw, just barely, a small torn bit of orange cloth. She walked over and shined the light down. Her heart stopped when she saw the boy she came to love like a son. Ezra was teetering on a small embankment at the bottom unmoving.

"Kanan! I found him!" She yelled as loud as she could over the raging storm. Kanan looked up barely hearing her with the distance he had covered away from her. It took him a moment to process what she had said before he rushed over. When he saw where his student was he was having a hard time not panicking.

The ravine was filling up with water, fast. Only Ezra's head and shoulders were above the water at this point and it would be a matter of minutes before the water would cover him. Kanan could tell he was injured, but had no way of knowing the extent of the injuries.

Kanan tried to use the force to bring Ezra up but he was too unfocused with worry. Hera gave him a gentle hug from behind.

"You can do this Kanan. I know you can. We'll get him taken care of and things will go back to before all this mess started" She was worried, but she knew that Kanan was the only one that could get him out.

Kanan took a deep breath and shut his eyes reaching his hand out as if to grab something in front of him. He felt around with the force, picturing Ezra moving. He found great resistance. He growled in frustration a deep scowl forming on his face. He lowered his hand and opened his eyes. He would not give up. Ezra's life depended on him. Before Hera could stop him, the Jedi lept into the darkness of the Ravine landing gracefully next to the mud covered padawan, this being the exact "stupid" thing she was wanting to avoid.

He realized the youth was stuck on something. He felt around in the mud gently before breaking a branch deep in the mud that had latched on tightly to his clothing. Kanan gently turned him over, brushing his muddy bangs from his face and propped the unconscious boy against his knee trying to gently wake him.

"Come on kid. Wake up. Don't do this to me Ezra. I have to apologize, I can't loose you..." The Jedi felt around for a pulse with a trembling hand, finding a very weak one. He picked up Ezra holding him close to his chest never planning on letting go again. Kanan noted how cold the boy was, yet how hot he was with fever. Ezra groaned softly in pain and mumbled something. His master leaned in to try and hear him better. He could hear his raspy breath as he put his ear close to his mouth, but no further words seeped out.

Kanan looked up before shutting his eyes, willing himself and the child up and out of the ravine. He jumped and landed right on the edge next to Hera.

Hera was radioing the remainder of the crew to get back to the ship and get the medical bay ready while she was trying to form a plan to get the Jedi and student back up. She had never seen Kanan jump that high. Kanan startled her as he came out of no where and landed next to her with their 6th member knocking on death's doorstep.


	8. Chapter 8: Broken

**** Originally this was going to be much much longer, but after redoing and editing I decided it would be best to break this into two or more chapters. Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 8: Broken**

Two figures ran down the empty streets of the city heading for the docking bay. The rain hadn't let up and was almost a slush due to the temperature drop. In the taller figure's arms, cradled against him, was the limp body of a young padawan. His bangs were plastered to his forehead, clothes clinging to his body, his eyes were shut tight. Both the adults running were out of breath and freezing, but they knew that their young charge needed immediate help.

Hera dashed ahead of Spectre 1 and 6, hitting the ramp switch and lowering the ramp. Kanan didn't wait for it to come down completely, he was in the ship and heading for the showers in one graceful motion. His current focus was getting his padawan warmed up. Not once did he look back to make sure he wasn't tracking mud into Hera's perfectly kept ship. He knew he left a large trail. It could be cleaned up later. He got to the fresher, used the force to open the door and started a luke warm stream of water.

Kanan stepped under the water with his student, the warm water almost burning his frigid skin. He didn't care, only one thing mattered. The whole time not once had he let go of the young boy in his arms. Exhaustion from staying hours in the freezing temperature and from running finally hit his legs. He slid down to the floor of the shower, his whole body trembled and shook. He hadn't felt like this since that fateful night when he was Ezra's age.

"Come on Ezra..." He softly whispered at the teenager. He kept whispering apologies to the padawan as he started to rinse both of them off not bothering to remove clothing yet. He kept trying to get some kind of connection with his student to no avail. Under the mud, Ezra was pale. His lips a sick tint of blue. Cuts and bruises starting to show up on his skin as the water continued to wash over him. In the light Kanan could see how much weight he had lost.

"All of this is my fault. What have I done to you? Please be okay kid..." His eyes had dried up a long time ago from crying. The feeling was there though. Ezra was his light, which was currently threatening to be snuffed out by darkness.

Hera didn't dare bother Kanan while he tended to the boy. She went to the women's fresher and got herself dried and cleaned up. The water felt good and she remained under the hot water for a while. She had a few scratches from hitting branches, nothing that would affect her. She took her time knowing it would take a while for Kanan to warm up Ezra.

She stopped in the common room. Her other two charges looked up at her.

"Is Ezra okay?"

"The kid gonna be alright?" Both of the immediately bombarded her with questions almost climbing over one another to get closer as if that would produce the answers they wanted. Hera raised a hand and silenced them quickly.

"Kanan is getting him cleaned up right now and then I'll start treating him...Ezra...he's in pretty rough shape but I'm sure he'll pull through." She said it in a way that would comfort herself more rather than her crew members.

"I'll let you know as soon as I know something" She left for the medical bay. Sabine saw how tired she was and started a fresh pot of coffee for both the adults. She felt guilty for not saying anything to her. She got up and followed.

"Hera?" She stopped and spoke barely above a whisper. The Twi-lek turned and saw her walking back.

"Ezra will be fine Sabine." She placed an arm on her shoulder in a comforting gesture.

"It's not that..." She looked down.

"I..I knew he was injured. He wouldn't let me say anything. I should have, you could have -" Hera gently stopped the girl giving her a motherly, tight hug. Sabine leaned into the hug.

"It wouldn't have solved anything. Ezra would have run off sooner if I would have tried to stop him. This is not your fault. Ezra will be fine." She was the best at being a mother. The young Mandalorian relaxed and nodded letting the older woman continue with what she was doing, heading back to the common room busying herself with her art staying quiet. Zeb watched her for a moment before going back to his game with Chopper.

Hera got the medical bay ready to treat Ezra making sure it would be when Kanan had finished warming him up.

* * *

Darkness..cold...alone...It slowly melted away as Ezra felt a familiar presence near by. He couldn't focus on it. He heard yelling, but couldn't discern the voice. He groaned softly as he felt someone picking him up holding him close. Everything went black until he felt heat. Lots of heat, lots of soft talking and touches. He couldn't wake up. He felt his clothing being taken gently off him, whimpering softly as dried blood stuck to his undershirt pulling a wound open. He felt a wave of calm wash over him. He fell deeper into darkness.

* * *

Kanan gently took Ezra's clothes off to finish cleaning him. He heard a soft whimper and felt a little presence of his student through the force. He relaxed slightly. He saw that he had reopened a deep wound on his side.

"I'm sorry kid...I'm so sorry." His voice remained soft. His eyes focused on their task. Ezra was covered in wounds, some old, some just now caused from his fall earlier. His wrist was swollen and turning a dark shade of purple. He sent a calming wave over his student to try and ease the pain he had to be in. He knew Ezra was unconscious again soon after, but a tiny connection remained. It kept the Jedi calm and focused.

Hera finally couldn't wait, she came in after knocking.

"Kanan?" She asked softly, keeping her eyes adverted.

"Come hold the kid so I can get dressed." He was still dressed in his soaked, usual attire, he had long since shed his shoulder armor though. She walked over and took Ezra getting the boy wrapped in a warm towel keeping him close looking down at his face talking softly to him. Kanan had hesitated in handing over his student. He was scared of loosing the very small connection he had just made with Ezra.

The Jedi, undressed and finished up while Hera waited with her back turned. He shut the water off and dressed quickly taking the kid back, both of them headed to the medical bay. They passed through the common room getting looks of horror from the others as they saw the condition their youngest member was in.

Hera had never seen Kanan this lost, this broken. He had grown so much as a person since Ezra came into his life. He wanted to be a better person. He had taken back the force. She didn't even want to think what would happen if Ezra were to...

" _No. He will be okay. Ezra is strong._ " She shook the thought from her head as she started to take care of the young teenager. She couldn't figure out how any of this started.


	9. Chapter 9: Second Chances

**Chapter 9: Second Chances**

Days passed and Ezra didn't stir once. His body had suffered multiple fractures and wounds from the fall into the ravine; A few had been caused by the missions that he had kept hidden. Most of the wounds had become infected due to neglect. The teenager was severely dehydrated and running a high fever for the first 48 hours before Hera was able to get it under control. She knew it needed to be lower. A human wasn't designed to be above 102.

They had blown through a lot of their credits getting Ezra treated. If they could afford it, they would have taken Ezra to a bacta treatment facility. It wasn't the high cost that caused the issue, it was the high risk of being spotted by Imperials. Sabine had gone to the closest one in the _Phantom_ to scout it out and deemed it too much of a risk. Hera decided on injections obtained through the black market.

The master pilot was also concerned about the amount of weight that both males had lost during their separation. Kanan hadn't lost as much as the growing padawan, but he had still lost a decent amount.

The Twi-lek was actually growing ever more concerned with the Jedi. Kanan had yet to leave his student's side; he didn't sleep, Hera could hardly get him to eat or talk. The only time his eyes were closed was in meditation trying to feel out the young padawan and give him comfort from his pain. Kanan also meditated to try and keep himself balanced and try and give himself some inner peace. Hera had really started to worry when she found a cup of coffee untouched after several hours.

The green-eyed man was still at a loss as to how he could have caused so much pain and hurt to the young man laying next to him along with the crew that he had come to love and care so much for. He truly was broken. He second guessed himself constantly in his conversations with himself and Hera, and even considered forsaking the force again so nothing like this could happen.

"Don't make any rash decisions love." The Twi-lek said one afternoon bringing him a refill on his caffeine and something to eat. She had overheard him talking to either himself or his unconscious student, she wasn't sure. "You said you don't know what started any of this. Could it be an inquisitor?" She sat next to him to make sure something went into his mouth.

"It happened sometime on the last assignment we had together." He had his elbows placed on his knees, slouched over with a hand covering his face in concentration trying to get relief from a headache that had been present since Ezra had run off. " Right before you and I had that fight. That's all I can think of...We didn't meet with any inquisitors or a user of the dark force...Ezra said that he felt a weak one but I never did so I just assumed it was his lack of training...I should have listened to him."

The pilot took the human male's hand in hers looking at him. "Kanan, look at me."

He hesitated before bringing himself to look at the kind, motherly female right in front of him. He could see the worry on her face.

"What happened...it happened. We can't take the past back. We can learn from it and grow stronger. I don't think this was your fault. Something had to have happened. Ezra had even mentioned to me once that you weren't acting normal." She looked as the pain flash across his face at the mention of his padawan. The Jedi glanced at the still form for a split second before his eyes returned somewhat.

"What if...it happens again?" He sighed tiredly and looked down again. He was only ever this open with Hera about his fears. They had been partners for a while and he had come to trust her with his life.

"We'll cross that bridge if it does. Don't live questioning yourself all the time. You would never teach Ezra to do that. You would tell him to follow his instincts and trust the force. You are a good Jedi and a good person Kanan Jarrus. Don't ever forget that." She never took her eyes off him. She knew he needed this reassurance.

The Jedi looked at her giving her a small smile.

"Thank you...thank you for reminding me."The Jedi felt a little better at the confidence the pilot of the _Ghost_ had in him. Hera gave him a gentle hug making sure it was extra tight before letting him go.

"You can thank me by eating something." She returned the smile he had given her. She was pleased when he picked up the plate and began to eat.

Four days passed, Hera had just left with the other crew members to make a supply run; they were running short on food and medical supplies. She was out of bacta injections and didn't want to take any risk of Ezra getting worse. The Jedi had just shut his eyes to start meditating when he felt a weak disturbance.

"Ezra?" Kanan's voice was hoarse due to him being slightly sick as well; he had kept it well hidden, but with the sudden change he didn't have time to put his guard up. His head snapped in the direction of his padawan. Peering behind half-lidded eyes, Kanan saw the teen's glassy blue eyes.

"Hey kid..." The older human male wanted to run away that very moment. He had feared his student hating him never wanting to see him again. He was terrified of Ezra wanting to leave the crew. The Jedi had been so hateful and harsh to his student. Hera's pep talked drained from him the very second he felt Ezra wake.

Ezra took a while to focus on the voice. When the connection was made he immediately looked away. He didn't remember why he needed to look away, just that he should. The student was taken by extreme surprise when his master gently wrapped his arms around him hugging him with a grip that was formed from days of worry.

"I'm so so sorry Ezra. Because of my actions you were hurt. I chose you as my student. I don't want you to leave. You are the best student anyone could ask for." The Jedi froze when he heard his student release a soft whimper from pain. He had forgotten about his injuries.

"Sorry..." Kanan's eyes softened before he looked down with guilt.

All of Ezra's memories came flooding back; the hateful words, the rain, falling, pain.

"Where...?" The young Jedi asked weakly trying to will himself to wake up more. Every inch of his body ached, he wanted to sleep, but he also wanted to know what happened. He tried to move his injured wrist and winced.

"We're on the _Ghost_ , off that forsaken planet. Hera and everyone will be back soon, they just had to make a quick supply run. Everyone will be happy that you woke up. We didn't think you would..." Kanan's voice almost caught in his throat trying to push back thoughts on what would have happened if Ezra never woke up.

"Try not to move too much until Hera can look you over." He saw the young padawan try and move his arm along with the flinch that followed.

"You mean...we're back together?.." Ezra was beginning to fighting sleep more and more. His eyes were almost impossible to keep open. He had just woken up, he didn't want to go back to sleep yet.

"We should have never been apart Ezra. I'm sorry. I let my own fears and selfish wants control my ability to see clearly. I lost patience with you and everyone. I should have noticed that you were sick and injured...I know you will never forgive my actions...but I would like to try and make it up to you..." The Jedi looked down. He had become extremely humble. He never wanted to lose Ezra, or Hera, or anyone else that he had come to love. Even thinking about it made him nauseous.

"Zeb was right...I should have gotten hurt a month ago...If that's all it took to get you two back on the same team..." He tried to smile and chuckle but it ended with him in a small coughing fit.

"It should have never happened to begin with." Kanan stated as he felt a twinge of pain coming from the student as he coughed. The leader of the crew gently sat him up and rubbed his back before gently laying him back down once the episode had subsided. "I promise. It will never happen again. I never want to lose you or anyone else on this ship."

Ezra quieted down. Normally he would have had an ego explosion being told he was right, but this time he didn't. He just missed having his make-shift family not to mention he was too tired.

"Everyone deserves a second chance Kanan.." Ezra smiled softly. He wanted to sleep but something kept him awake.

"Kanan?" His voice was weak but serious as he looked at his master with glazed eyes. Kanan looked up at him.

"Yeah kid?" Ezra seemed to hesitate for a while to gather his thoughts. He pulled things from his memory.

"I had a vision...all of this happened...you were being controlled...then I felt that presence...everything came true." The boy couldn't keep his thoughts together anymore. His master sensed this and knew that at this moment in time, rest was more important.

"Don't worry about it right now Ezra. We'll talk and deal with this when you've rested. I'll be right here the whole time if you need me. I made my mistake and I wont make it again. Thank you for giving me another chance..." He ruffled his student's bangs gently making sure to avoid any head injuries, and pulled the blanket over Ezra to make sure he stayed warm as the younger fell into a restful sleep. He would worry about the vision later. He now had more reason to believe that there was a sinister force behind everything that happened, and that it wasn't an accident. It would have to wait.

Kanan sat back down and made himself comfortable. As long as Ezra was with him, he would be there to protect him. As long as he was still breathing, he would keep everyone on the _Ghost_ safe. The Jedi shut his eyes and fell into a restful sleep knowing that his friend and surrogate son would be safe.

When Hera came back, she found him with his head on the medical bed asleep near his student. She smiled softly and grabbed an extra blanket laying it over him. She shut the lights off and left silently.


	10. Chapter 10: Epilogue?

**Chapter 10: Epilogue?**

A few days after Ezra woke up, Hera gave permission for him to leave the medical ward. She gave him full restrictions while the rest of his injuries healed; no missions, no horseplay or running, no training, pretty much no usual fun. For the time being that was perfectly fine with the young human; being in the medical bay sucked.

"Uh Kanan, you might want to go check on the kid. He's being a pain again and fixin' to do something stupid. " Groaned Zeb as he walked into the common room. The kid may have had a near death experience, but things were returning to normal quicker than the Lesat wanted. Kanan put down the holo he was looking over.

"What did he do?" He got up and took a few strides to reach the boy's cabin. He didn't knock and just opened the door. What he saw half amused him, half made him pity his student. Ezra was attempting to climb up into the bunk with a broken wrist secured to his side, fractured ribs and just overall weakness from being sick for so long. Ezra half stumbled off the ladder before feeling the presence of his master. He looked over putting on one of his stupid fake grins, bringing his good hand to rub the back of his head.

"Hey Kanan. What cha need?" The youth asked innocently, feeling a little embarrassed to be caught in such a stage of weakness.

"It's more like what do you need? I didn't think about you trying to get into the bed. We'll have you and Zeb switch until you're healed."

"What? No." Zeb had walked back to watch all of this unfold. Both he and Ezra exclaimed their opinions at the same time.

"I hate the top bunk, I hit my head, and I just finally got a grove in my mattress. The kid'll just ruin it and I'll have to start over. Plus he smells..when was the last time he took a shower?" Zeb said glaring daggers at his roommate daring him to disagree he was pretty proud of himself for the argument he just gave.

"I smell? Have you smelled Zeb?! I can't sleep in his bed, I would never smell good again!" Ezra said exasperated, motioning to the Lesat's bed.

The Jedi pondered the situation for a minute before a slight grin crossed his face.

"I guess that leaves one choice. Follow me." Kanan turned and strode out of the room with his padawan following, unsure of what to expect. Ezra assumed he would have to bunk on the couch in the common room. He was surprised when they stopped outside of Kanan's door.

"Uh...This is your room." His master opened the door, letting Ezra go first.

"Yes, you can sleep on my bed. I'll sleep up on top. This way I can make sure you don't go running off and doing something stupid. And we can practice on your meditation more." The older male smiled at his solution. Secretly, he wasn't ready to let Ezra out of his sight for more than a few moments; this took care of that concern, and gave Ezra a bottom bunk. Ezra still had a long way to go before he could do assignments, or even chores. Kanan would do what it took to make sure he healed as fast as possible.

The younger of the two sighed knowing there wasn't another options. He had to try. "Why not just stay in Sabine's-" He was cut off by a voice down the hall as the Mandalorian female passed hearing the conversation.

"Don't even think about it kid!" Ezra let out another sigh before smiling.

"It was worth a shot..." He walked over to the bed and sat down slowly before laying back. He expected the bed to be rock hard because of some weird Jedi ritual not allowing them to be comfortable; besides he never saw Kanan sleeping or laying in bed. It was actually, surprisingly very plush. He watched the Jedi take off his armor and boots off before climbing up the ladder smoothly laying on the bed with hardly a sound. It was a little cramped due to the man's height, but he would make due. He didn't want Ezra to fall out of the bed and get hurt. He shut the lights off and closed his eyes.

"Kanan?..." Ezra said very quietly after several minutes. Kanan almost sighed. He was hoping Ezra was going to be quiet and not cause a bunch of disturbances. He stayed quiet for a bit.

"Yeah kid?" He decided to be nice to his new, temporary roommate. He didn't want to push his student away ever again, and if Ezra needed something he would be there to help him. There was a brief moment of silence. The Jedi felt the uncertainty of his padawan.

"..can...can we talk about my vision now? I mean we don't have to..but...please?" The vision he had before all this started was eating away at his sanity. He didn't like that it stayed in his brain. He was scared something else was going to happen. Kanan picked up on his feelings quickly and relaxed. He felt bad that he hadn't realized that the vision his student had might still be bothering him. He debated staying put in his bed, but instead he gracefully rolled off the top bunk and landed next to the teenager sitting on the edge of the bed so they had close proximity.

"Of course. Tell me everything you remember. We'll work through it together." All his patience had returned. He wanted Ezra to feel safe. He also wanted to make sure the younger knew he could come to Kanan with any concerns he had.

"Well...it pretty much happened exactly how it did in real life..." Kanan felt the hesitation.

"Except?..." Kanan's heart beat quickened a little. He didn't want anything to happen to anyone anymore. What if the vision wasn't over? What if someone died. He accidentally held his breath.

"..Except you didn't pull me out of the ravine...a.." Ezra's brow furrowed in concentration. "It was another inquisitor. A stronger one. One we've never met...He was on orders from his master. He was controlling you, making you go all dark and crazy..." The blue eyed teen looked up at his master who seemed a little lost in thought; if Kanan had looked, he would see the flash of fear in his student's eyes.

"Kanan?" He really didn't want to push his limits, he debated on call his master again but luckily, the older human snapped out of his thoughts.

"Sorry kid...Did you see who they were? Who the master was? Something happened to break control over me. That is what changed the vision." Kanan had never heard of a vision going far off course like this. Perhaps it was because of how inexperienced the kid was.

"I didn't see them. I just heard their voices, everything was so real. Like I was standing right next to them...only I wasn't." Ezra shut his eyes to try and remember all the details he could.

"The one that was controlling you..he feared his master..He was able to control you because of your lack of confidence in being able to train me...both of them were strong...the vision made me feel cold...What if they come back?" Kanan knew that he needed to end their little discussion before Ezra got much more uneasy.

"The vision didn't come completely true. You said it ended up with you being collected by them in the ravine. That never happened. It never will. As long as I'm still around, I wont let anyone take you." He gently placed his hand on his student's shoulder feeling him breath in and out a few times. He felt the boy nod slightly.

"Good, now get some rest. If you end up sick again, a certain pilot will kill both of us and it wont matter what happened in your vision." He smiled softly before removing his hand and standing up starting to head back up into the bunk.

"Kanan?..." Kanan stopped shy of laying down.

"Yes Ezra?" He refused to become impatient with the kid.

" Thank you...for everything. You're the best master I know and could hope for." Kanan smiled laying down.

"Anytime kid...Good night." He pulled the covers over him and got comfortable.

"Good night master.." The sleepy padawan stated in the middle of a yawn. As tired as Ezra was he was still concerned about everything. What if the inquisitor came back? What if Kanan went crazy again? What if it was worse? He started to get a little panicked with all the what ifs. Just as everything began to peak he felt a calming sensation run through his body. He knew Kanan was behind it; he had grown accustomed to Kanan connecting with him in this way. He enjoyed it. He enjoyed the feeling of being loved and being part of a family again. Ezra smiled and shut his eyes. For how much he was independent and not used to anyone taking care of him, he really enjoyed his family. Within moments, the kid was fast asleep.

Kanan rolled over and looked up at the ceiling only inches from his head. " _Ezra is still too inexperienced to have a full vision. It's unnerving how close it came from being a full vision. If there were in fact two inquisitors, a master and apprentice we must be more careful. They could be out looking for Ezra right now. They wont lay a finger on anyone on this ship."_ The Jedi stayed awake for a while listening to his thoughts and the sound of his sleeping student. He wanted to make sure Ezra had no nightmares. It didn't last long before the Jedi was soon in a deep sleep as well. Tomorrow was another day, he could figure things out then. For now, they both needed to rest.

...to be continued?

 ****Alright guys. This was the finishing chapter of this fic. I have it designed that I can branch off and do sequels if I have enough people interested. Let me know. I'm also going to start an Xmas fic, but it might be a bit. It's my busy time of year for my job and I'll be gone for a few days unsure of the internet availability. I'm taking my laptop to begin writing it though.**

 **Thanks everyone!** ~Ocean**


	11. Sequel!

**Hey Guys!**

 **I have my new sequel posted. Trusted but Trapped. If you liked this one go check out that one or my Xmas fix Ghosts of Christmas Past!**

 **~Ocean**


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